In Search of a Name by Marjolijn van Heemstra

Author:Marjolijn van Heemstra
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books
Published: 2020-11-24T00:00:00+00:00

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I cannot find a grave for Frans Jr., but I do come across a death notice in the archive of the Catholic daily De Tijd. It’s no more than half a line long. “Frans Julian Johan van Heemstra,” and after that: “1 d.” One day. He’s listed in between Marie, who died at eight months, and Lena, five months. He was born and died on November 26, 1936. I’m surprised at how hard that half a line hits me. Such a long name for such a short life. How much of the world do you experience if you only live for one day? The violence of your birth, some vague specks of light and dark, maybe some milk, a warm washcloth. A smaller universe is hard to imagine.

I wonder if my grandmother knew about Frans Jr. The fact that he existed adds weight to my promise to her. Frans was not just hoping for a namesake he could give the ring to. He was looking for a stand-in for that little boy who should have been given his only piece of jewelry. It was a last-ditch effort to get things to line up in his otherwise messy life.

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